The moss has grown to the point where The Invasion Of the Body Snatchers is almost complete. The difference between them and me remains that I am emotionally invested here. But my poker face is back today. I don't well up and cry when they tell me all the scary things they propose to cut or implant or inject with. I am not letting them see me cry today. Today I will not appear compromised and emotionally unstable because today - although on little sleep I feel sound. I feel able and I feel completely with it mentally - in the bizarre universe that is this prestigious hospital.
I am terrified.
The tremble is real and my insides are racing with anxiety that makes me wonder how I am still able to walk and talk. My words to them are deliberate and in a tone where theirs change depending on the way they wish to attempt to sway me.
I am making one decision today. The decision to agree to allow him to rest.
Once we clear the complications we will be gold.
Dear God,
By your stripes he shall be healed.
Amen.
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