Realigning Reality

Sometimes you need to step away. No matter how crazy that sounds and to whom. You need to step away and come back. Because when you are in it for too long the misery leaks into your soul a little. It robs you of who you are. Then this disease takes even more from you. It takes your love one for a time, and then it also takes YOU.

I know you are reading this like, WTF?!?! This chick is sipping the Kool-Aid. But I am not. I am being honest because that is what I have to do here. I have to tell the truth even when it's raw because there are other people, other families this will happen to and their lives will have no filters and no editing and no candy coated shell. They will need a guide to the raw parts of all of this and they will need this.

My boss sent me on a busines trip to California. My first thought was to be upset over it. To resent the fact that someone would mandate I go somewhere knowing I have a sick child and responsibility and THiNGs. Then I got here. Engrossed in work. Catching up on things getting to learn others better. Panicked and stressed and thinking about Jason everyday. Calling more than usual. Worried. He is ok. I put a team in place to help me. 

Eventually I slept. I'm talking to his doctors and thinking more clearly. I am thinking of alternatives and next steps. For Jason. For the first time in a long time, although my heart is very heavy: I have a very clear mind. Sometimes we have to do things we hate strictly on the premise they are good for us.