...and Chicken Grease

I thank God for Steve Jobs. I know that's an odd way to start a post-but I do! He made it so we amazingly have ways to see and interact with our loved ones no matter how far away. The snow tore apart my car. Work too crazy to leave early. I missed Jason for 2 full days and I needed meds to calm the anxiety. I have never not been there this long. I call every hour like the parent of a newborn not an 18 year old. Even in the middle of the night, much to the chagrin of the nurses looking for an easy night. I feel guilty for oversleeping even just a few minutes and in a panic dial frantically.

I got him an IPad and loaded it with all his favorite things: pictures and videos of family and friends, music and things that he loved. We face time. Usually the aide calls and tells me what's going on and I watch what he is doing. Witnessing his progress or his new delay. Today has been the best day yet. He lingered in coherency long enough for a 5 minute call. He just watched me. Still no speech.

I told him I love him. I then asked him how he was. Unprovoked and uninstructed He gave me a peace sign.

I stayed brave through out the rest of the call, holding back the breakdown that came. Even when he started to drift to that unpredictable dark place where he has no control-I didn't break.

I waited until I thanked his aide and pressed the red button. Then I cried like the beatings I had ever gotten as a child were all being given at once. He is coming back! It's slow and it's not 100% percent yet but everyday it's happening for more and more minutes at a time.

There were points in this Odyssey that I never thought he would get here. My sorrow to thick and murky, drowning out every feather of hope and tarring it to a point of no return. The doctors, the same ones I fear and barely trust said so. They said, "one day" as the looked off Inthr distance and didn't make eye contact.

We are almost near THAT day. I can feel it.