From The Mouth Of Babes

After the second opinion I came back to work and FaceTimed with Jason. Watching Jason practice walking with three therapist and a walker. It's exciting and hard to watch sometimes. But I did. Afterward I thanked God for delivering him from where he has been. I thanked God for delivering me from there too. Something cracked a while back. I still have the tremble.

I was home last night spending time with the younger ones because the concept of mom has become a figment of their imagination. Sort of Sasquatch if you will. They were happy we colored. Then cut up paper, watched tv and slept. They needed that. They needed me. Their sleep was sounder than it has been in a while.

This morning I tried to go at yesterday again, gearing myself up for the fight between his doctors. They talk to me like they know what they are doing and its finite. But we know it isn't. All they can do is try and they really have no idea how any of this will really go but they hope. They have seen cases before but this disease is not cookie cutter. Like everything it is subject to change.

Jason had chemo. They want to give him more. The reasoning doesn't make sense and that is where our fight begins. You can't just poison my child because you think it is a good idea. You can't validate it by telling me you have done it to everyone else. I mentally prepared myself for war. I got something completely different and I was not ready for it.

For the first time in 3.5 months, Today Jason spoke.