The Art of Shadow Boxing

“My thoughts must be relaxed, be able to maintain/Cause times is changed and life is strange..."- Can It Be All So Simple"

The struggle is real. I do 60 miles a day my poor car can tell you. Sometimes I do 120 because I forgot something. Every single day. In rain. In threat of snow. I don't care. I go. There is laundry to do, grooming to keep up and procedures to check on. And I have to talk to him. I have to talk him to death so one day he answers back and tells me to shut up. And I remind him I am his mother and threaten to slap the shit out of him.

This place is nothing like Columbia. But I will tell you, if you have a loved one in a hospital, rehab or hospice- do not become complacent and think you become family because you see people daily! No matter how much people smile- this is their job. The extra is up to you. No one loves your loved one like you. Nothing has happened. No incident to report, quite the contrary. But I am Going off of old experience, I trust no one. 

Carmelo and I watched Jason shadow box Sunday. Funny because although I do feel dead inside a very small part of me in a low voice played Wu Tang in my head with all the Karate sounds. For a second I actually thought to record him and to wait many lifetimes from now when he is better to show him. But I didn't. The new me wanted to burst into tears, the old me held them at bay. 

Jason has not slept in (6) days. This is the norm for ANMDARE. There are dark little green veins reaching into the blackened circles under his eyes. Apparently, one girl went a month. If you my lucky reader have a family member dealing with this, know you are not alone. You are not unique with an insomniac on your hands. Sadly, you are graduating into another level of our prestigious club. We are trying sleep aids, so far-no dice. I am still advocating for meds to come down, not letting anything go up. All

I can do is hope and pray harder. Rest and sleep helps heal the brain. Rest and sleep brings back the normal. Tonight, all my prayer warriors I ask that you band together to do me this one big favor: please ask for Jason to have a comfortable sleep that lets him awaken refreshed and rejuvenated. A sound restful sleep so he can be Ready to start a full day of therapy tomorrow.