Children Of The Corn

While sitting at Jason's bedside a little Asian girl about 8 years old with thick glasses rolled in on a miniature wheelchair.  Her dark hair up in a ponytail and Parted in various places where patches of scar tissue from something a long time ago changed her life. "Hi!" She said with a slight slur. I watched her as she walked in and smiled instantly. Always trying to be conscious that no matter what I feel on the inside she is a child and she should always be greeted with kindness. "Hi!" I offered back with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

"Is that a big boy?" She began in an almost incoherent pattern of speech.

"Yes."

"Can he play?"

I had to swallow back before I answered. I looked at Jason laying there motionless. The constant hiss of the humidifier running through his trach. His long eyelashes dusting his cheeks. The peach fuzz now growing on his once clean shaven face identifying him as a "big boy" to her. I thought of him in another time and space. Every kind and playful moment he had playing with Samantha. Holding her Barbie's, playing with Play Do, letting her comb his hair.

I took too long deciding apparently. She impatiently asked me again with a feisty little attitude that almost made me laugh. 

"Can he play?!?!"

"I'm sorry honey he can't." I choked out tearing my eyes away from him to focus on the cars out the window.

"He taking a nap?"She continued to probe me.

 I was hoping the nurse walked in. I never met her before and didn't know how much cognition she had. Could I lie and say yes or explain he's sort of catatonic?

No one came. I went for the former.

"So can he play when he wakes up?"

Little Miss Fiesty was relentless.

"No sweety. He is too sick to play right now."

I was able to look at her when I said it. And the loneliness in her eyes struck me. She dropped her head and shoulders and said,"ok."

Slowly using one hand to awkwardly wheel herself out of the room. I felt so badly denying her anything.

Later on I asked the nurse who she was and she explained. She told me the kids have recreation room times but most are bored at moments through out the day and look for people to play with. They ask anyone they see for attention and are anxious for something engaging.

I brought Samantha and Tristan the next day, strapped for childcare and desperate to be with Jason. I brought a stock pile of games and toys to keep them occupied, knowing how to control my bunch. As they sat on the table with play doe another little girl appeared in a similar wheel chair. Her scars not so obvious. She pulled up to the table where Samantha and Tristan were making Play Doe food and joined in. The nurses coming in after her to ask if it was okay and the little girl looked at me innocently. Anxiously awaiting a response and confused as to why someone would question her ability to play. Of course I allowed it. And my little princess showed the hospitality of her mother inviting her new friend to everything we could offer. Samantha was the equivalent of drawing back curtains and letting sunshine in. She was polite and playful, wheeled her friend around and tried to help her whatever way she could. Now Samantha has a friend who asks for her daily and Sammi is always her friendly silly self so other kids love her too. 

Five 1/2 years ago I was given a beautiful little girl. Many moments through my life with her I thought I knew the reason why. I always thought it was to save her from a terrible life. But I think I was wrong. I think she was given to me to save me. To allow me to give her the opportunity to be the best she could be so she could brighten the lives of others. If you could see the excitement of the kids she plays with. The brightness in their eyes, the excitement in their voices you would understand how much of an angel I was given. My little Sammi is just herself and she brings joy to even more people than just her family. 

God is good all the time.