Friday, April 22, 2016

A Mad Man Sees What He Sees

"Can I get an extension on my project? Please?"
"Shut up!shut-UP!!!!"
"Miss can I please get an extension?"

He is looking past me and asking the question. There is no one there. As his eyes seemed glazed over, I know he doesn't know that.

You don't know how heartbreaking it is to watch him suffer like this. In his swollen head there is all this activity. All these conversations and cinematography and he is reacting to it. But none of it is real. 
As the swelling subsides the hallucinations will stop. 
My kingdom for the encephalitis to go away.
I am trying so hard for him. Nobody knows how much I suffer. I would give my life for his betterment but the choice is not mine. I pray, kneeling on the stained couch in his room, hoping for him to get better. Hoping he returns to logic and begins to understand. Begging that he does nothing wrong or bad. It's trying to control a faceless, formless thing that has invaded him that is beyond reason or logic. This disease wants my son badly. But it can't have him. I won't let it. If I have to take 20 minute naps at night for the rest of my life I will. I'll do anything. I just need him better. Please #pray4Jason

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