Fatigue Creeps Up On You

It's been days. Days upon days before genuine sleep has cradled me, smoothed back my hair and kissed me at the temple good night. These naps are enough to let the eyeballs wet themselves and the lungs slow down to test its ability to before I am up and at it again. Jason is relentless. Thankfully, he is not completely maniacal as he was. Thankfully he is under some measured form of control right now. I am just praying real real hard that it stays this way while I am away. I have a business trip. One of those you better go to or next year when you are not at the company Christmas party we all know why. I need my job. I actually like my job. I haven't liked where I worked in a long time. I want to do well

Here, and it also pays the bills and takes care of Jason so I have no choice but to remain. I am trying to put together the dream team. Cracking open the rolladex to find people I know willing to stay and endure the crazy overnight. So we don't have episodes. So he calms down and doesn't get upset. I'm shitting bricks. My hair is falling out and my pants are baggy again. The stress is real. Jason needs to cooperate and bare with me. He has to because there is just no other way.