Imagine a life where every moment you have no security? Nothing is certain. Nothing is secure. What you need to hold onto and believe is always in flux and no matter what you have to remain fluid with it. The anxiety and frustration of never having a constant puts wear and tear on you. On everything you believe. On everything you know. It puts wear and tear on your life. Bosses are calloused to your sob story because it has gone on for so long. You are embarassed to tell your story because it never ends. It's if your every day life now and for how long will it go on? Even the good news has string with metal cans trailing behind it to usher in the bad. Everything was good. Everything was fucking good.
I am in with the doctors. We talk everyday. I am in on the pow wows and I have to be involved in all the bullshit. I talk them through their theories and push and pull on their recommendations. I have no medical training. I ask God to be my advisor and good ole common sense to be my back up. But the answer is not always black and white. Sometimes things are grey and we may need to investigate more.
Now Jason might be having seizures.
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