Hello, It's Me...

It's hard to cry silently in a public place. Your breathing becomes labored no mattered how you try to control it. Tears fall silently but the breathing, that is what does you in.

The social worker called me just now to tell me he was accepted. Accepted to every rehab I wanted. Every rehab that is good for him. I asked God for guidance on which to choose and he chose for me. He chose the best one! One that has seen his condition, one that will watch him like I do. One that understands what I  going through. I am at work. This is my first day back. Trying to show them I am ok. Answering my emails and smiling on que and then I get this news this terrific news and the shake starts. The one that makes me run to the bathroom and lock myself in the smallest stall, bunching up tissue to stop my running nose and trying to control my breathing. I don't want anyone to hear me. I don't want them to ask me what's wrong. I want to just cry and thank God for doing this for me in peace without having to explain to anyone what I am doing. I want to just sit here in my little grey box and cry. I want to cry because I'm catching a fucking break. I want to cry because Jason is making a huge leap to getting better. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. God is good all the time!