The Ties That Bind

From the minute he saw Samantha he wanted me to keep her. He kept addressing her as his sister even before the papers were drawn. Up until that point he was all the kid I could handle. I could not fathom having another high maintenance Jason with the midnight X-box game releases and the requests for crazy priced sneakers.

But he convinced me. Every day she was with us, that was his sister. His baby sister. Seeing how easily he could love her never being selfish about what she could take away from him made me so proud to be his mom. We had a baby who needed a home and without hesitancy Jason offered ours. 

When he met his baby brother I saw it again. That tenderness he showed for Samantha and the love for someone who could grow up and share crazy stories decades from now about his "crazy mom" and all the things she would do or say. There are two other people who can relate to how I ask questions and answer them in the same breath. Or how I seem to know everything because I track phones and still have child monitors laying around. They will imitate my walk, my laugh and my upset face . Mimicking in accurate detail my threats to beat their asses and laugh with their own kids one day about it.

They miss him. They know. He was coming home every weekend and now not at all. When they saw him in bed, they didn't get it. I know, but when they got home and more talk of Jason started I understood what happened. He is Samantha's go to when I scold her. He is Tristan's amusement park, that he can climb and jump on and wrestle with.

I know they miss him because I see him every single day and I do too.