In the Kingdom Hall the person saying the prayer would say Amen and the congregation would follow. It never occurred to me until today when I did it out loud and someone looked at me that all these years that echo had affected me. Funny the things that linger from your childhood that still affect your adult life.
There was a storm today. No newscaster could predict it. It's almost like a flash flood. Jason's heart rate jumped to 201 today.
Couple of posts ago I cried because it was too low. I didn't cry today. I was too scared to do that. I know I stopped breathing because I saw the spots. I helped him and I prayed and I said Amen twice.
The nurse came with seroquil and after an eternity he went down to the 140's...130's... And now he is hanging out in the early 100's.
I haven't recovered from the 28 BPM heart rate, stomach peg falling out, the bronchitis, the urinary tract infection, the blood clot, the pressure ulcer...and I am still emotionally scarred by the pneumonia, staph infection, (3) intubation and the tracheostomy.
One day this will make sense. One day when he is better and I know he is completely out of danger. I am going to have the nervous breakdown I deserve.
No comments:
Post a Comment