I remember the cashier telling me the specials and the return policy. Rambling on about how I had 7 days with reciept. I wished I had that option. I wished Zahira would have sat up and hated my choices and wanted to come back to the store with me. But by then she was dead, and had been for days. She would take what I got her and like it and I just needed the cashier to shut up.
Today was another moment similar. I went to get Jason's glasses from the joint board. The attendant, who helped me before was telling me about the specials. How I should wait because Jason is due for an eye appt. she didn't think she carried his frames anymore. I kept declining his Dr. Visit without making eye contact. She kept insisting thinking I didn't understand. Then I looked at her. The rivers had been falling out of my eyes and my nose was dangerously close to running and I had to explain why he couldn't come. I had to explain why I really needed his old frames because new frames would not look right on my old Jason. I need my old Jason back with his plastic toy looking frames that are apparently not so cheap. I don't want a new one.
She cried along with me for a few minutes and she told me her husband died last year and she has no children. This time of year is hard for her. After several tissues She helped me find the last pair of frames identical to Jason's in the bottom of a drawer. I cried and she cried because we found it. I got Jason's glasses to help him come back to my old Jason. The Jason I recognize, the Jason I know is there and can't wait to see. I paid her and thanked her.
Before I left I hugged her and told her how very sorrow I was for her loss. I thanked her for helping me. Tonight when I sit beside Jason and say my nightly prayers I am adding her to the list of people I name. It gets longer everyday, but I don't mind because so many of us need it.
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