Never A Dull Moment

Writing is calming. Sitting here forcing myself to put into words the craziest of moments to be unseen but read about by people who will hopefully never have to live this life.

As Enid would say: "I ain't about this life."

I am so not.

Ever saw "insidious"? That crazy black monster with the red tongue that hovered over the kid's bed? 

I imagine that is what is here with us right now. Knowing we have a 96 hour window where it can try and ruin my ticker tape parade on Monday. I am praying hard that God removes it and takes it away. I need a chorus more to make sure it goes away.

I ask you to pray, send good vibrations, release good Karma for my son. Whatever you can do please do! I need it! For my beautiful boy who can't catch a freakin' break.

The brilliant minds here at Columbia decided that Jason can come off his IV type peg feedings and can take 32 oz of fluids because his stomach expands. 

So, I am not a doctor. But let me try and intellectually digest this. If you or I have not eaten-for lets say-almost 2 months. How much fluid do you think you could binge drink in one sitting???

Far be it from me to quarrel with the brilliant minds at Columbia Presbyterian- ok I am lying because you know I lose my sanity quick in this place- BUT how comfortable would your stomach feel if you did not expand it for weeks and are forced 2-8 oz cans and 2-8 oz cups of water and medicine down your throat? 

Jason threw up. Not just that but projectile vomited all over me, himself and his bed. I felt weak until it happened, then with the strength I did not know I had I lifted him up and leaned him over the side of the bed to make sure nothing backed up in his throat. The nurse was suctioning him. Trying to take the pink ball of mucus that was playing peek-A-boo out of his new size 6 canular. Talks of the trach being gone started the downsize conversation that came to fruition just before I got here. THAT part of  the story is the GOOD NEWS. Smaller the canular closer to getting it out.

Centurion duty and I already saved his life. The nurse watching me and saying it's good I leaned him over to get it all out.

I am tired. My nerves are shot. I got 3 more days to live thru and already day 1 I am worried

he vomited into a lung.

I ain't about this life.