Removing My Predator Mask

There is a scene in Predator, when the alien is about to fight Arnold Schwarzenegger and he stops for a moment and slowly unplugs his mask. Each plug he slowly twists off until finally he holds his masks in his hands to remove it and you see his true face and that part of the movie is the "OH SHIT" moment.

Whenever I am getting upset I always mention that scene. I am short temper, mile long fuse so it usually takes a lot for me to start unplugging my human mask and get ready to present to you that I am actually "one ugly motherfucker."

You don't mess with mines. If you try you gon' learn today.

There will come a day of reckoning, of this I am sure. When? I don't know I am not focused on that part of this odyssey yet. My focus now is recovery. But one day, when my heart isn't in my throat and my mind isn't splintered by anxiety I am going to be able to collect my thoughts and look back at my time at This hospital and clearly notate the good, the bad and the ugly. The good I want to praise and reward if possible, in whatever way I possibly can. The bad I want to have fixed by having conversations with administration and trying my best to make sure my complaint is heard and heard loudly so no family with a loved one suffering with Anti-NMDA Receptor Encephalitis will ever have to endure the mental anguish I have endured because of mistakes, unprepared personnel and negligence. Finally, one day I will sit down with a team of lawyers and address the ugly. The ugly is going to get uglier before it gets better and when the ugly is settled I think it is safe to say no one will ever-never-never-ever do any of it again to ANYBODY, not just families suffering with ANMDARE.

Yesterday I walked into the room and Jason's blood pressure was 78/44. You should not be below 90/60.

His nurse wasn't around, I asked for the doctor to be paged. She didn't come. The nurse covering told me she saw it that low and was monitoring. I asked her if she was absent from class the day they taught BP parameters because I was there 2 months and have been consistently told 90/60 was the limit.

She didn't move her ass. She sat on it. I had to get ugly. I spoke to the charge nurse. I ran it again. It came up better 112/83 but still. 20 minutes passed at a number that is dangerous and in the step down unit of all places and no one checked.  An hour later and at shift change the new nurse informs me that Jason was just bladder scanned and needed to be straight cathed for retaining urine-400cc's. This is a not so comfortable procedure, ask anybody. I asked her, "when?" She said he was scanned 1/2 hr ago. Jason has a private nurse who informed that didn't happen and I had been there at bedside for the last hour. I told her to scan him again. He had 40cc's of urine.

In retaliation for getting her supervisor the previous nurse lied to have Jason be subjected to an uncomfortable procedure. You know I didn't allow it. You know I am not standing for this. You know hell hath no fury.

Please contribute extra to Gofundme if you can. I may need bail money.