I have been away from him 24/hrs fever preventing me from going to the hospital. His grandmothers and private nurses taking care of him. I, between bouts of consciousness, call to remind them about putting Carmex on his lips and putting lotion on his feet. It's killing me slowly to be away. I fight with myself every other minute. I fight with Carmelo. I fight with the hospital. I cry until I cry myself to sleep, wake up and start again.
I don't have energy but I'm finding it.
I walked into his empty bedroom today and started packing his clothes. Making him a bag for a place I am
Sending him to that has told me they can help make him better. I pray they aren't lying to me. I can't think past this minute because to think about tomorrow and all the changes that take place makes me stop breathing.
Picking through his clothes to decide what he would want. Finding his crocs and uggs just in case. I don't know what he might use them for at the moment, being in bed for 7 weeks, but I want him to have them. I have seen other people leave the hospital in just a gown and apparently vanity has not left my heart yet because I can't allow my son to leave that way.
He is loved and cared for and I cannot allow him to be Looking abandoned in a hospital gown wheeled out the front door to an ambulance. I want him in his clothes, with his shoes on. In case he has a moment of clarity I want him to feel more like himself.
I could cry. I could cry so hard the slight airway I have in my left nostril will close. I am trying to be this strong person I am supposed to be because my son needs someone to prepare him for the next step. I need someone to prepare me. He's ready.
I'm not.
It does not matter what I want these days.
I need your help. I am too sick to wallow in the sadness. I need help to stay positive and this is what I need:
Here is a chance to be a huge part of Jason's recovery.
I need pictures, collages, friendly and creative items that can be hung on Jason's wall in his new bedroom to help remind him of life before ANMDARE and can help him come through the fog of encephalitis. All of his friends can send me pictures/funny memes with him in it, handmade cards, Xmas Cards, well wishes - anything that can be printed and hung up and focused on to help jog his memory sooner rather than later. You can tag Instagram/Twitter/Facebook photos with #pray4jason and I will
Find them and print them.
Videos I will
Download to a tablet so he can see them.
All these little reminders can help
Him snap out of the fog faster. In turn he will be ready for visitors.
Please submit photos, videos, memes of Jason, you and Jason to the email address below. Also contact me via email at Irenemendoza2013@gmail.com for any handmade collages you would like to submit. Please be as creative as possible, we want to decorate an amazing room for Jason. I am a big proponent of ArT Therapy. Art therapy will be helpful for all of us, and it will be an amazing gift for Jason to open his eyes to familiar faces and moments in life that made him Happy. It can help him remember, and awaken.
Right now we still will not be having visitors for some time. While Jason is better, when he was still
Coherent he asked me not to let anyone see him in the hospital and I allowed visitation once out of fear it may have been the last time you did see him. Now he is for the most part over that threshold and I want to allow him to receive guests when he is ready to understand who you are and respond.
I know you all miss him, but please think of Jason and what are his wishes. It is about what Jason would want and how he would feel. As soon as he is of a mind to have guests I will open the flood gates and allow it as well as offer weekly carpools to go see him.
Thank you for all your love, help and support. I need each and every one of you right now.
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