I have known pain

but this. Living this has destroyed me. Watching my son go thru this and now the complications. I cry until the tremble comes. The one I got when they finally diagnosed him. It never really leaves anymore. I always feel the trembling on the inside. I barely eat or drink so I have no idea where the tears come from. But I always have them. I haven't cried enough yet. I spend the better part of my day watching him and begging the universe as a whole to heal him and bring him back to who he was. The rest of the time I cry. I cry with earnest because I love this kid. Like everyone thinks they love someone but the way I love my son - it's an amazing love. He is my life. He is my entire world. I have never loved anything like that. Now what is happening to him is destroying me and I won't come back from this the same. The specialist is confident he will. If we can clear the complications the doctor feels good about his chances to returning to normal.

I never will be.
For me there is no coming back from this.
This changes you.