Thursday Morning

"So we have the results. He definitely has an infection. We will start the antiviral medication and steroids today and he should be fine."


That breathing thing happened. I didn't realize it started but when I went to speak I needed to inhale first. I felt like Big Pun at the beginning of a song. That long "extra" gasp before he starts to spit lyrics that seem so vulgar and like it just does not belong there.


I had an answer. My baby was going to be fixed.
I was so glad and happy. I thanked the Dr. I kissed Jason and I was just above and beyond ecstatic! This is why you DO NOT stop at one doctor and their opinion. IMAGINE had I listened to the ER doctor from Cobble Skill Regional my baby could have died!
Imagine if I tried outpatient and got an MRI or something from a week from now!??
So many things could have happened if I was not such a bitch who started a traveling circus of visiting hospitals before I stopped at one that ACTUALLY KNEW what they were doing!!


The drip was started - Jason was still texting watching TV. Still had not eaten but the hospital food was disgusting and I would not leave him for a minute.


Carmelo came. So did his sister and his grandma. They offered to stay with him while I went home to shower.
He wanted Chipotle and the only one I knew of was by me. With traffic I was running late back to the hospital. His grandmother had to leave and he was alone 20 minutes.
The text messages came. WHERE R YU?!!? They were misspellings. He called me and yelled at me WHERE R U!?!?
"Papi I am in traffic I will be there in a few minutes"
He hung up on me. I finally got up here and he was in bed. Flailing his arms erratically and with tears in his eyes, "WHERE WERE YOU!?!?!" He screamed in halted breathy bursts when he saw me. I dropped the bags and hugged him. 2 doctors were  trying to talk to him and I had to yell at them to get back.
"Can't you see he is upset?!!? Just give him a minute!"
The both turned and walked away.
I finally got him to relax and I served him his Chipotle. 2 meats w/ white rice and beans.
I watched him eat. Noticing the hesitancy as he spooned food into his mouth. He only ate a few bites then dropped the spoon and seem to relax.
"I'm full."
"Are you sure papi? You don't want any more?"
He shook his head.
As his mother - I rationalized. Maybe he had gas in his stomach. Maybe Brunie got him something when I left.
"I love you papi."
"love  you too."
That was the last time I had an actual back and forth conversation with him. He fell asleep and when he woke up again he wasn't the same.